what i miss

i've been pretty busy as of late with different goings on, so i guess i haven't post a blog in a while as a result. may have a few coming in a short period of time as i've still been thinking about various things.

early this month i was at a little conference for the future of youth ministry, and there was a lot of emphasis placed on family. sometimes it seems as though some parents view youth ministers as the ones who should bring Christ into the lives of their children, and that we ministers should be the main avenue of teaching. while i love the task that i have ahead of me in directing teens in the way of Christ, the time that i'm given to spend time with teens pales in comparison to the time they have with parents. in any given week, i spend 3 hours max with teens.. more often than not, i don't even get that much time with them. so in this, it's no wonder that in recent studies youth ministers were 17th on the list of influences in a teen's life (parents placed 3rd behind friends and media).

so what is this evidence of? to me, it's that we as a country are losing our sense of family. abc family has this little slogan they like to throw out there all too often: "a new kind of family". is this what america now views as family? shows like the secret life of the american teenager where teenage pregnancy is running rampant and gossip and scandalous rumors thrive, or pretty little liars (the title says it all, right?) where lies and covering the truth are a huge part of life and where a big part of the story line is a budding homosexual relationship.. is that truly the portrayal of "a new kind of family"?

if this is truly where we're headed, then children of our children will see the family life that we've known behind some rope at a museum somewhere.

this brings me to the title of this post.. as i was sitting at the conference, one thing kept going through my mind: i miss the days when dining room tables weren't just decoration. it seems now that a lot of homes have those tables for "special occasions" or just to fill the space. they've been replaced now by couches, coffee tables, and television. in the past week i've had a couple of opportunities to sit down at big tables in restaurants with friends and just enjoy each others company, stories, hopes.. an opportunity to shut out the distractions and be truly engaged in what's going on in the lives of my friends.

isn't this what it comes down to? being truly engaged and interested in what's going on in someone's life. and not only that, but taking the opportunity to ask and to listen? at some point and for some reason, we become ok with both hearing and giving the response of "fine". the response that says "thanks for asking, but we're not about to start discussing what's really going on because you don't really care and i don't want to talk about it. (in so many words)" the "how are you" question is now more a greeting than an inquiry, and perhaps this is the gradual fade into a new kind of family.

but to this i say it's not too late. we can take back what family really is. we don't need media to dictate the direction we go as a country. so may you take back what was taken from you in the name of entertainment. may you stop greeting and start inquiring. may you turn off the tv or radio and listen. may you rediscover the purpose of the dining room table.